Finding Perspective

We were sitting at the dinner table. It was around Christmas and my family and I were talking about the Nutcracker Ballet. Somehow, we got on the topic of the tree growing and I mentioned that Clara shrunk. That's why the tree was growing because she was shrinking! My sister's mind was blown. She had watched the tree grow her entire life and never once bothered to think that the reason the tree, the toys, and the rats were so big was because Clara became small! Maybe you are finding this out for the first time. Maybe you are thinking, “I knew that!” The reason I am telling this story is because it’s about perspective.

Perspective is fascinating. One small change in the way you think can alter so many things. Remember my sister had seen the tree grow her entire life! Sometimes you can miss things because they are so consistent and mold into the background. Prepare to have your world rocked, your mind blown, and your perspective blown sky high.

First Perspective Change:

What does perspective and complaining have in common? So much! The Israelites grumbled in the desert, but they were on the way to the promised land. Grumbling does not make you get there faster, but a perspective like “Yeah this is hard, but I've got God on my side and I'm headed toward the promised land,” can make a massive difference. Even just asking yourself the question, “Why am I doing this?” more often than not, you realize you are working toward something important. For example, say you have to do the dishes. You could complain about it or you could acknowledge that when you do it you will be left with a clean kitchen. Whether you’re Israelites on the way to the promised land or a tired person on the way to a clean kitchen, not complaining will get you to your destination, and I promise you your destination will be worth it.

Second Perspective Change:

I've trained my brain to fill up any awkward silence by saying “I'm tired”, because it's something everyone can relate to. I still struggle with this, but imagine what a difference it would make if I replaced that with “It's a beautiful day!” or “I love your shoes!’ This small perspective change can alter your mood for the better. When you think positively, everyone can see the difference. Speaking of words making an impact, do you ever joke around with your friends by saying things like, “Hey stupid!” or “We’re fatties”? This is funny so it's totally ok. NOT. This brings your mood down and causes you to feel bad about yourself even if you don’t notice it. It's way too easy to start to believe these words. Just like the former example you can replace it with something positive such as, “Hey beautiful!” or “I rocked the science test!”

Third Perspective Change:

Fights with family and friends can get insanely knotted, complicated and lead to nothing good other than a learning experience. I get it. It's hard. Brace yourself for the biggest mind blow yet.

You're not always the good guy.

I hear you while I'm typing this. “Huh? What the heck does that mean?” It means that when you're fighting with someone there's a reason they’re mad and there's a reason they did what they did and said what they said. What part did you have in this? There are two sides to every story. Using empathy can make asking for forgiveness SO MUCH EASIER. Although it's still hard, prepare to swallow your pride, girly! Saying sorry and forgiving is the only way to get your friendship back on track.

Now that your world is officially rocked, try to rethink the ways you see complaining, saying I'm tired, and disagreements. As I said before, perspective is fascinating. One small change in the way you think can alter so many things.